Archive | November 2017

Self-Love: The Key to Setting Personal Boundaries and Minimizing the Impact of Negativity

In this phase of my journey, I’ve had to deal with my fair share of negativity and unfavorable behavior that, if not checked, impacts my wellbeing. And as I consider the best options for handling such situations, I am keenly aware that my response to such negativity will have to come from a place of love, more specifically from a place of self-love.

Self-love does not equate to being selfish, but rather is a balanced, healthy love and respect for one’s self. Self-love is the medium through which we’re able to establish and share boundaries that support our wellbeing and value system. It also clarifies what types of behavior we will – and will not – accept. With that said, each decision and choice that I make to address my negative encounters will need to produce a loving and kind resolve for my self.

There have been times in my life when I have made decisions that benefited other people but did not serve me well and weren’t sustainable longterm. The focus on others at the expense of my own wellbeing and peace of mind caused internal unrest, the likes of which resulted from dreading the forthcoming but necessary conflict, people-pleasing and/or trying not to hurt anyone’s feelings. And, from my experience, none of the latter leads to a right, authentic or lasting solution for anyone.

Although there’s nothing wrong with wanting to please and protect the feelings of others, we must be aware of when our desire to please and protect feelings interferes with our ability to do what’s right for ourselves and the situation.

And more importantly, we must be aware when we are dealing with people who may be unreasonable for whom nothing that we could possibly do will ever be enough to satisfy or change them or their behavior. And while we may not be able to change people’s minds or hearts, we may be able to influence their behavior.

Hence, when we focus on choices and decisions that support self-love, we empower ourselves and, at least, disable the impact of negativity and poor behavior in our presence. With every opportunity, I feel it so important to maintain a focus on solutions/decisions that best support a life and lifestyle that loves us back, strengthens us and, ideally, will be best for all concerned. Solutions that we can live with longterm and that give us the most peace of mind.

To this end, I pledge to love myself enough to say “no” to negativity, crazymakers and boundary-breakers who attempt to disrupt peace and positive energy in my life. And I hope it will be your pledge to yourself as well, affirming your self-worth and value as a unique individual.